The Whole Buffalo

I don't know how to dance.

And I don't really know how to work a full-time job. Or how to move on from college. Or how to live permanently in Virginia away from my family.

I feel like these are all things that the people around me know how to do. While other people my age have entered the workforce, started families, and made their college years a distant memory, I stayed and worked on my Masters. I lived on campus. I kept living dorm life and pouring into guys and making mistakes and learning lessons and gaining and losing friends. See, I used to think that those three extra years at LU were a pause. It felt like stalling life in a lot ways. I could wait to start paying monthly bills and working a 9-5. But it also felt unfair to everyone else and to myself. Why was everyone else ready, but I wasn't? Shouldn't I be prepared to do what they're doing by now? What's wrong with me that I need an extra three years in the incubator? And how will I ever know when I'm actually ready?

These are questions that have defined the last era of my life. And sure, I could say that God had placed me in that season for a reason, but those words often rang hollow. Like an excuse I made because I knew I was actually in "unprepared adult purgatory." 

It turns out that perspective is a heck of a clarifier. By no means have these three years ironed out all my deficiencies. And I definitely don't feel any more "ready" now than I ever have. But it is clear to me in this transient respite of Christmas that nothing is wasted. Let me cover these 3 years and share what I mean...

At the beginning of my Masters, I began work as an Resident Shepherd at LU. This position led into my role as a Graduate Scholar. Throughout these roles I got to partake in biblical discipleship as both a discipler and a disciple. I was poured into and I poured out of myself. I got to lead those younger than me and work on a team of peers to make sure that our people were cared for. I got to make friends with scholars, counselors, and the kindest and wisest people I could ask for. I learned about discipleship in community.

Around the same time I started as a Resident Shepherd, I began a job as a tour guide at LU. At the time, this was just a position I sought for some extra dollars to supplement my cost of living. But God is good using the whole buffalo. So it turns out that He was giving me so much more than a few extra books. He was giving me friends, community, and a job that centered on sharing the Gospel every day. Every tour was sent out with the mindset that we were servants of Christ first and Liberty second. I got to sharpen my communication skills, internalize how to share the Gospel, and really love the team members I served with every day. I learned how to communicate the Gospel effectively and fervently.

During my first year of my Masters, I was given the opportunity to join the summer staff at Lake Lundgren Bible Camp one more time. As I stepped into my role that summer, I was given the opportunity to disciple younger staff members and work closely with campers to teach Biblical themes in an "always on" context that required me to give of myself at all hours of the day. I learned how to live sacrificially for the encouragement of those around me.

Because of my degree, I was required to complete a pastoral internship, which I did in the Summer of 2022. Through this internship, I was given the opportunity to teach, both in high school and adult contexts. I sharpened my ability to craft lessons and make a point from the intention of Scripture. I learned to place Christ at the center of every sermon I taught. I got to do ministry in a pastoral context and learn from men I respect with all of my heart. I learned how to teach the Bible with a Christological fervor. 

These experiences do not take into account the other relationships made, the mistakes that taught me how to fail and how to humbly seek restoration, the odd jobs over the summer that taught me patience and service, the actual classes, which did indeed instill in me a love for God's Word and for a listening ear in counseling contexts. I got to serve my church, to teach Sunday school classes, to work on a disciple making team, and to get poured into by me community on a weekly basis. Time and time again, the Lord has put his preparative hand on me. I learned how to live life with intention and meekness.

Which brings us to today, wherein I have recently been hired as a high school Bible teacher. Wherein my focus will be Gospel proclamation to young people, as I seek to disciple them while instilling in them a love for God's word with a Christological framework. I get to serve in a context of like-minded educators who will need to pour into me as I humbly accept correction and see their wisdom in this field. I get to live my life sacrificially for the students around me on a daily basis. Every little experience from these past years has been preparation for where we are now. And no, it's not the most glamorous job I could ever have. But it is so clearly God's direction that I find myself here, how could I doubt what comes next? I have no questions about this being difficult, but there's also no question that the same God who has been preparing me is going to be leading in the next season. Nothing is wasted and his leading is clear.

Sure, I don't know how to dance.

But that's never stopped me before, has it?