A Lot of Life

A lot of times I'll walk out of a movie at the theatre and say: "that was a lot of movie." It doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's my way of saying: wow a lot of things just happened and I don't know how to process them. I'm in an area of life right now where I feel like I just walked out of the theatre. My head is still spinning, I know I just had too much sugar, I don't quite know how I feel, but I know want to talk about it. There have been some serious high points, there were some low points, things that seemed too convenient, and the concessions got a little repetitive about halfway through.

Ok, this metaphor has run its course, but my point is this: I am at one of life's stopping points where you look back and see all that has happened recently. You take stock of the wins and the losses and try to make sense of where you're going. I believe those in the Christian community may use the term "Ebenezer." (You don't hear that word in a non-Christmas context much in December) So today I raise my Ebenezer, like the Israelites before me, in remembrance and praise of what God has done in my life during 2019, and humble expectation of what he will continue to do in 2020. The posts don't come fast and furious anymore, so hopefully this is a decent update for someone. If anything, it will help me to get my thoughts somewhere other than my head.

God has taught me a lot this year, and brought me through a lot more. Humility is a major theme. Boy I don't have it together. I was put on a team of 40 other college aged Christians this summer and the first thing I learned was that I have a LOT more to learn. But God used every single one of those people to teach me more about himself and the body of Christ than ever before. I would say there are at least 100 people who have poured into me in meaningful ways spiritually over the last year. What an insane and humbling gift that is. Humility is often about having open hands and a closed mouth. The second of which is something that those who know me know I often lack. But that's what learning is for.

Another theme is discipline. As it turns out, maturation does not just happen. Neither does sanctification. Or really anything worth doing. And as someone who has not had to work very hard to get to where I am currently, that's been a staggering reality if I'm being painfully honest. Of course I've studied hard and put in a hard summer here and there, but school is something (one of few things) that God has made come easily. So imagine my surprise when it turns out that I have to put effort into being the man God has called me to be. I have to wake up every morning with an agenda of holiness. I have to die to self daily. Wow, am I bad at that. All the optimism in the world has not granted me a drip of sanctification. That comes from the Spirit, and I'm praying daily that he turns on the faucet.

Family is huge. You don't realize what it means to have someone in your corner until life throws you out of your corner and suddenly you forget everything that you are. That's when your family reminds you who you are, who you belong to, why you are where you are and so on. This family isn't always your flesh and blood, but by the grace of God, for me it is. I lost my grandfather this year. I saw my family grieve, I grieved. But in the end, the Gospel was proclaimed, God was praised, and Grandpa was in the presence of our Savior. That's who we are, that's where out hope lies, not because our last name is MacDonald, but because our citizenship is in the Golden City. I gather in a family of my own blood or otherwise to say that I am a child of the Most High. And that family reminds me of who I am when I have clearly forgotten. They point me to the truth of God's word when I'm floundering so desperately without it. They tell me when my fear and stress is making me look like a paranoid buffoon. And that happens a lot.

There are a lot of things I think are important. Or at least, a lot of things I act are important. Things like grades, winning arguments, summer plans, relationship statuses, schedules, and time for myself. As it turns out, I could give up all of those things (and a whole lot more) and still live the life that Jesus has called me to. That's scary and freeing and insane and tragic. Because in the end it means I've wasted a lot of time. As I think about the ways God has moved this year, whether it be through denying me leadership positions, bringing me on staff at Lake Lundgren, the passing of my grandfather, or the hundreds of other little moments, all I can say is praise be to God that he is faithful, even as I fritter away time in the distractions of life. If you happen to run across my name while praying in 2020, pray that I would deny these distractions. Pray that these lessons of humility, discipline, and family would permeate my being as I continue to become the man God wants me to be. I am so in awe of who He is, because the more I realize his Reality, the more I see my deficiency. And the bigger the grace extended becomes in my understanding. God is so good, friends. And that same good God is coming soon. As you sing Christmas carols in the coming days, may we sing with all sincerity "Come thou long expected Jesus."

Merry Christmas and a blessed 2020

In Christ, Luke.